Random thoughts from a landlocked mind!

He’s not adjusting to civilian life…

My husband medically retired in 2010, after serving 27 years in the military. That basically means that he’s non-deployable anywhere. In other words, politely kicked out. He’s okay with it, somewhat. He knew he was unable to continue. He knew he was too broken.

I love him to death. But, he’s an ornery old coot. He’s struggling so bad and I don’t know how to help him. He’s gone the alcohol route, isolating route, and never-ending surgeries. My resolve is wearing thin. I mean I’m tired. I’m not going anywhere, but I’m tired of hospitals. Eight surgeries with five more to go.

Maybe I’m whining? I don’t know. I’m in need of a way to vent. He’s a veteran now. I don’t belong to an FRG as I’m too far away. I’ve attended al-anon meetings and that’s actually been helpful.

His memory is lapsing. I begged him to talk to his doctor, and she made an appointment at the memory clinic. He did….medium, on his tests. Not too good, not too bad. I fear cognitive impairment. To think, the won’t approve him for Social Security because they say he can work. The military calls him unemployable, but SS doesn’t. That frustrates me because we just adopted our granddaughter and he’s starting to fail. When I was working, his effort is minimal. I explain what I/ the household needs from him and he says “I know, I know” and then nothing. Now, I’m home with them and going back to school. I’m hoping she’ll be going in to kindergarten when I’m getting out. Then he won’t have that responsibility as much.

Thanks for hearing me vent….


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My grand intro?

Where do we start? Let’s see if the random thoughts of a mid-life chick, landlocked in the Midwest can interest some readers enough to think my writing is interesting. I am ready to discuss it all. I’m bursting at the seams and have a lot to say.

Shall I use it as my springboard to purge a distracted mind or a diary that I want to scream out loud? Maybe a bit of both.

My impetus to start blogging was multifold; it was being a military wife, having adopted my grandchild, having given up my hometown to follow love, my father’s passing, and working in the substance abuse treatment field. I am not an LADC, I worked in the unit. I was on the floor with adolescents. I learned more than I could have ever imagined.

Sadly, so much has to do with grieving. If we do it well, then we move along to wonderful things. If we do it badly, we get stuck in toxic thinking. It’s release, it’s surrender. I recently saw an explanation of surrender as arms up to the heavens, not slumped down in defeat. That simple gesture taught me so much.

I’ll be sharing it all, little by little. I’m learning.

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Random thoughts from a landlocked mind!