Random thoughts from a landlocked mind!

Today I was referred to the Mayo Breast Clinic…

Sigh, today I was referred to the Mayo Breast Clinic to be evaluated for Inflammatory Breast Cancer, aka “orange peel”. I’m 50, married to a disable veteran and just adopted my 4 year old granddaughter last year. What on Earth am I going to do?

I’m trying to be a “big, brave dog” (Chuckie from Rugrats). I know the “don’t panic until you have to” speech, I’ve given it. I’m really trying to stay in “hope for the best, prepare for the worst”. I’m just concentrating on the next step, but if this is bad news, I’m going to be just as aggressive…

Best Case scenario: I have to do a third round of a heavier antibiotic because it’s mastitis (doesn’t make sense) This type of cancer is aggressive, rare and happens at about my age. It’s a rash on my breast that came on fast, swollen, hot to the touch, dimpled appearance. Two rounds of antibiotics and no change. I’m glad my doctor is supportive and listens to my instincts. That’s so rare nowadays.

Now I have to wait for the Mayo (thankfully I live in Minnesota) to call me and schedule an appointment. This clinic does get people in and diagnosed rapidly.

Please God, let me be able sleep tonight.

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statistics, blek…

I dropped my statistics class and I feel like a loser. I know I really had no choice. I think I was foolish to take such a complicated class in one third time Summer schedule. So, triple the pace! I tried and I couldn’t keep up.  I must wait for the fall and take it at a normal pace. Dear God, I hope I get it then.

Disappointed in myself 😦

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Helmet Laws…

Today my daughter called me to tell me her new beau had died in a single motorcycle accident. My heart broke for her.

When I moved to Minnesota from Massachusetts, I was flabbergasted that there was no helmet law. I had never been in a state where there wasn’t one, and I’ve been up and down the East Coast from Florida to Ontario. It was something very common in the Midwest and I wasn’t getting it.

I posted on Facebook that I support helmet laws. Just that, nothing else. Of course there was a ruckus and that’s okay. Isn’t that what social media is about? Assuming people are reasonable, don’t use hate speech and don’t monopolize someone’s thread.

Some people compared it to “losing freedoms and how am I gonna tell my grandchildren about gay marriage”, which I found tangential. Another posted how she felt it fell into the “my body, my decision” category along with seat belts and abortion laws.

My feeling is a twist on the latter. I feel that abortion laws are “my body, my decision”. I don’t believe that seat belts and helmets are always. A car or motorcycle accident reaches out to so many people in so many ways. It devastates whole families and if someone lives and is a brain dead or crippled it can bleed a family emotionally, physically, financially, etc. Am I being heartless?

When I was younger we went for so many hospital visits, so many funerals for victims of car and motorcycle accidents. I believe helmets save lives.

My kid is in pain. She’s lost four friends to car/motorcycle accidents. I can’t fix her pain.



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Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

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Random thoughts from a landlocked mind!